


Closure.

by Wordprism



Category: X-Men (Comicverse), X-Men (Movies), X-Men (Movieverse), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Avengers - Freeform, Feels, M/M, X-men - Freeform, logurt - Freeform, scogan - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-15
Updated: 2015-11-15
Packaged: 2018-05-01 16:39:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5213105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wordprism/pseuds/Wordprism
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurt forces Logan to go to church even though Logan is convinced he's going to hell anyways.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Closure.

"Kurt, I'm not going to church."

“Ja, Logan," he insisted. “Du bist.”

"You know I'm not a religious man, plus, we've already established that I'm going to Hell anyways so-"

“Nein,” Kurt answered. “du gehst nicht zu-”

“I am going to Hell, especially after spending two weeks in bed-”

Kurt thumped him with his tail, his brow furrowed. His cheeks were turning an even darker shade of blue, in embarrassment. “It vas a Honeymoon, Logan.” He tugged the other man down the street, up to the doors of the church with a quiet smile on his face. “Just give it a try, ein mal.” One time.

The two of them had just come home from a tropical vacation full of delightful sin. The last thing Logan wanted to do was face a priest, because he knew they could see right through him. They would know exactly what he’d been up to, and Logan couldn’t stomach that. He wasn’t some sort of Holy Roller.

But Kurt pulled him up to the door anyway. For Logan, church was the equivalent of putting a cat in water, or even flying in an airplane. He hated it. He was stubborn about it, and he didn’t want to do it. “Can’t we just go home and at least unpack first? You know, say hello to everyone?” He pulled at the collar of his button down shirt. “Besides, I’m not even dressed for this.”

“Ruhig,” Kurt told him. “Quiet. You look handsome.” He gripped Logan’s upper arm and pushed open the big wooden church doors.

Logan cringed at the sound of the music and the sight of the stained glass windows. It reminded him of his childhood, and made him sick. The only time he forced himself to stomach it was for weddings. He could still remember his mother making him go to church, even when he was sick. It must have been the age old memories that made him so uneasy.

Something was off, though. People were already there. It was kind of quiet, but Logan supposed that’s how church usually was. He looked around some more, and stopped when he saw a coffin in the middle of the center aisle. “Hell, no. Kurt, there’s a fucking funeral going on. We’ll come back another time.”

Kurt shook his head. “It’s bad luck to leave, mein Lieb,” he whispered, running his tail along the back of Logan’s leg to comfort him. “Don’t be nervous, ve’ll stay in ze back.”

The feral quietly followed his blue elf along the side of the aisle. He felt as if he were interrupting someone’s personal mourning. There was no way anyone would care if he snuck out the back door.

When Kurt finally chose a row towards the back, he turned towards Logan to reassure him. He was so enamored with his husband that he hadn’t noticed anyone else nearby. Logan, on the other hand, was squinting forward at the back of everyone else’s heads.

He must have been dreaming, but he could have sworn he saw Captain America a few rows in front of him. “Rogers?” he asked from behind.

Steve turned around at the sound of his name. He caught sight of Logan, and looked oddly put off by the fact that he was there. He said nothing, but tugged on Wanda’s arm and whispered something. She glanced back at Logan, expression blank. She slowly turned back around and looked straight ahead.

Had one of the young Avengers died in battle or something? That Wiccan kid, maybe?

He squinted more, and looked closer to the coffin. Emma was there, and so was every other person in the X-men. Most of them were silent, looking dead ahead.

“Logan, vas ist wrong?” Kurt whispered up to his lover, curling his tail against Logan’s leg again.

“Look,” he said. “Why is everyone here?”

Kurt looked up too. He was genuinely surprised. “Wait… vhy is everyone here?”

“I don’t know, but I’m gonna’ fucking find out.” Logan pulled himself out of the aisle and stormed down to Emma. If one of the kids on the team had gotten killed, why the fuck hadn’t they called to tell him about it? He couldn’t stop running every name he knew through his head. Megan? Kitty? Illyana? Laura? Laurie? That Goldballs kid?

“Emma,” he hissed, startling the crap out of her, “what the hell is going on?”

She stared blankly at Logan, too. She clutched the infant in her arms a little bit tighter. Illyana was next to her, followed by every single person he had just thought of.

It occurred to him that Emma was holding his child. Well, it was Scott’s child too, of course. But he liked to think of her more of his own. She had always liked him better, anyways.

Maybe he’d get to hold her before Scott came back from the bathroom, even though it technically wasn’t his turn yet. Scott still had her for another week, unfortunately. Scott hadn’t caused a problem at the wedding though, so maybe it wasn’t the end of the world that he was watching over Logan’s little girl for now.

But Emma still provided no answer. She moved away from Logan, and turned her head into the crook of the baby’s neck.

Logan just grew plain irritated. Piotr would probably give him a straight answer, because he was probably the only one with big enough balls to whisper at a funeral. He made his way over to him, despite everyone looking his way. He got a weird chill when he crossed the aisle to the other side, but he paid no attention to it.

“Piotr.” Logan stood there, demanding information.

Piotr just motioned for Logan to face forward, be quiet, and pay attention. The Canadian faced the front, and listened as the other man talked under his breath to him.

“Nobody told you?” Piotr whispered.

“Told me what?”

“Keep your voice down.”

“Alright,” he murmured. “Told me what?”

“Scott.”

“Yeah,” Logan sighed, “what about him? You’ve all rubbed it in enough that I left him for dead, so what is it now? Where is he, anyways?”

The taller man swallowed. He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out.

“In the bathroom or something?”

“Logan… Stop,” he said. Why did he sound almost offended?

“Nobody’s fucking telling me what’s going on, so-”

“We’re here for Scott.”

Logan wasn’t sure if his heart had skipped, or if it had stopped beating entirely. He must have heard wrong.

But that was nonsense. He knew had heard correctly.

“ _Scott_ …? What the hell does that mean?” Logan asked, his eyes slowly moving towards the coffin. He had been married to Scott before Kurt came along. Sure, they had gone their separate ways, even though they had an infant to look after, but… “He was fine at the wedding,” Logan said, under his breath.

“Fine, yeah. I mean, he sat there smiling while you married Kurt a few months after you left him, so. If that’s what fine means, then yeah, I guess he was doing just fine.”

“He never told me anything was wrong with him, Piotr.”

“What would you have expected him to do? Spit on the cake and make an angry drunken toast to you both?” he asked. “Come on, you knew him better than any of us. You know for a fact that he would show about as much emotion as a rock when he didn’t want people worrying about him.”

Logan was beginning to feel nauseous. He knew Piotr was right. All those nights he spent telling Scott how he could see right through his stoic façade, yet, at the wedding, he had gladly assumed that Scott’s quiet smile was genuine. Scott had probably been screaming and crying on the inside, but he had mastered silencing himself long ago.

Logan swallowed all of his pride to ask how it happened. His knees felt as weak and creaking as the pews behind them.

“You of all people know how he was. Good at hiding his emotion because everyone else was his main concern, as much as it pains me to admit it. It's true. I guess you really only appreciate things after you lose them.”

“But _how_? What happened to him?” Logan was growing frustrated now. He couldn’t imagine what terrible thing could have brought Scott’s life to an end.

“I don't know, you know, he just got real quiet the next couple of days after you guys left for the Honeymoon... Stopped showing up for dinner. I'd bring some up to his room, see if he was alright. I'd come back and the plate would be clean. But Emma found it all built up in the garbage a few days later. We eventually made him sit down and eat, but he wasn’t happy.”

Logan’s eyes fell to his feet.

 

_“Scott, I know you’re upset, but you’ve gotta’ eat. You’ve got no meat on you as it is, and I’m not gonna’ sit here and let you fall asleep with your face on the desk either. I’m sorry about all this, Darlin’. Go get dressed. Dinner’s on me tonight.”_

Piotr went on. “It got to the point where he just stopped showing up to teach, you know? I subbed in on Danger Room. Emma, ah... took over some of his other classes. There was one day I couldn't sub in for him, so Rogue went upstairs to check on him.” He paused.  “Never heard the girl scream like that in my life.” He sighed, as if remembering it caused him physical pain. “We all ran up, saw all the crap around the room-”

“What crap?”

“You know, pictures, clothes. It was neat though. Everything was folded nice. I think half the stuff was yours. He probably meant to give it all back to you, because you left it there when you left him. But yeah. Rogue found him and he wouldn't wake up. We all thought he killed himself at first. But Hank couldn't find anything. No sign that he took his own life. Now we think whatever it was happened in his sleep. I don't know what it was, if his heart just slowed to a stop or something else. It was really... frightening, honestly. I didn't know he even had a breaking point in all the years I've been around him. But yeah. Emma was able to get enough out of his mind even after he passed to figure out what he was thinking, what we should put in there with him to keep him happy.”

Logan’s eyebrows lifted. “What was he thinking?”

Piotr hesitated, then shrugged. “I couldn’t tell you. I don’t even really know. She said it was better not to tell every single person that asked.”

“But I’m-”

“You _were_ his husband, Logan. You made that choice on your own.”

Logan pressed his lips together. For some reason, he couldn’t escape the thoughts of all the times he and Scott had… God, he must’ve came inside of him over a hundred times before they had even been together two months.

 

_“James,” Scott murmured against Logan’s lips, his back thumping into the bedroom wall. “I’m gonna’-”_

_“No,” Logan murmured into his neck. “Not… not yet.” He begged, stumbling across the bedroom in a stupor of lust, crashing down on top of the bed, Scott underneath him, ravishing him on top of the covers until he exploded into a wave of moans and overpowering desire. He held him down, dipping in and out with his skin tingling and sweat pooling at the small of his back, until he completely filled the man below him, lifting him into his lap and embracing his body, bouncing him ever so gently to keep his arousal going._

_“Logan…”_

_“Not so bad once you get the stick out of your ass, huh, Scotty?”_

_Scott’s face flushed red, and he buried his face into Logan’s shoulder. “I’m in love with you, James…”_

Logan could still feel the warm, loving tickle of Scott’s breath on his neck. He could still feel the weight of his body in his arms, beneath him, wrapped around him. He could feel the touch of his plump lips, the movement of his long legs under the covers, the way he smiled every goddamn morning when he woke up to find Logan beside him.

There were tears in the feral’s eyes now. All of the promises he had made to Scott when he married him, to always keep him safe, to pry any sexual fantasy out of his mind and make it a reality, to beat the shit out of anyone who even gave him too long of a glance…

_He woke up to find Scott in tears, clinging to him in the middle of the night._

_“Scooter, are you alright…?”_

_The baby was sleeping through the night, finally, and now it seemed that Scott was the one having problems staying asleep. “Scott, baby, look at me, tell me what’s wrong…”_

_Logan wiped Scott’s cheeks with his thumb, and placed his glasses over his eyes._

_When Scott finally calmed down, he whispered to Logan, “How do I know I won’t just be…”_

_“Won’t just be what?” James ran his hands through Scott’s wavy brown hair, cradling the back of his head._

_“How do I know I won’t just be another one, Logan? I’m… I know we’re married and I know I love you and you love me but… It’s inevitable. I’m sure you’ve been in this position a thousand times before, where someone falls head over heels in love with you, just like me, and then… then…” He looked like he was about to cry again. Scott only cried when he was under stress levels that would kill anyone else._

_“Scotty,” Logan whispered, picking him up into his arms and cuddling him close. “Don’t you dare say that. I could never ever replace you. And I would never want to.   I’ve loved a lot of people, a lot, but you know what? They aren’t you. And nobody else will ever take your place.”_

 

And somehow, years later, Logan found himself saying everything he had told Scott he never would. He stumbled out of the aisle, with tears streaming down his face now, as he touched the coffin and stared at all the red bundles of flowers adorning its edges. He was trembling, dizzy, unable to comprehend that this was somehow his doing.

 

_“They always say that if you love somebody, you let them go, Scooter… You deserve so much better. You deserve someone that can give you everything I can’t. You’re so smart, so young and full of life, and the last thing I’d want to do is weigh you down, Darling.”_

Scott, of course, had called bullshit and broken down. He had blatantly accused Logan of lying to him.

 

_“I don’t care how noble you are, Logan. People are inherently selfish and if you really loved me, you’d keep me, just like you promised. Cut the crap. I’d rather have you just say you don’t want me anymore and kick me to the side of the road like a dead raccoon than have the indecency to pretend you’re doing this for me. Because you’re not. You don’t love me. You don’t even have the fucking courage to tell me you don’t want me anymore. And you know what? I get it. From my parents, to Charles, to you, all you people ever end up doing is saying, ‘Someone else can take better care of you Scott, but not me.’ I get it now,” he said, his voice livid. “But you know what? I love you. And I…”_

_It was a conversation they had had many times, but when Scott noticed the divorce papers on the table, it became the worst time of all. There had been one time where Scott had lost it to the point where Logan had grabbed onto him, and Scott had reacted in such a way that he struggled, fought, and struck back at him, but it still didn’t compare._

_“I…” His heart sank as he picked up the papers and stared at the words on the top._

_“I want you to be free of me, Scott.”_

_Scott looked up, with tears in his eyes. That was how he had fallen in love with Logan. He had realized his attraction to him, fled the kitchen, and returned to his bedroom later only to find Logan waiting for him, ready to confess to what he felt as well. But this time was different. He was standing in the middle of the kitchen, being told that the life of happiness he had worked so hard to achieve was going to become null and void. They had a baby girl that loved her parents, and smiled every time Logan put her in an X-men jacket or Scott helped her toddle up the steps. As if it wasn’t already awful enough that half the world wanted him dead._

Logan was now sobbing over the coffin, frantically apologizing for what he had done to his younger love, his entire body racked with sickening guilt. How dare he, how dare he walk in, and think to himself that the little girl was strictly his? How dare he ignore the fact that she had just lost half of all who loved her? He melted into a wreck, while Kurt remained in the corner, shaking, with his prehensile tail curled shamefully around his leg.

Emma approached Logan to tell him to quit making a scene.

He looked up, and shook his head. He knew she was about to say something to break him even more.

"The last thing I could make out was that he believed he was disposable to you. Something about just being another face you'd learn to forget."

Logan, in a panic, shook his head. "H-he wasn't disposable-"

Emma looked up at Kurt for a solid moment and back to Logan before continuing. "Even though Scott loved me, he always did love you more. I saw it in his eyes for years. But I've realized something about you, Logan."

"What's that?"

Her expression was flickered into diamond form. Cold, blatant, and honest. "You've got yet another dead body on your hands, Logan." She held the baby in her arms, securely and possessively. "You've been right all along about yourself. You really are the best at what you do. But this here's a new level of it. And it's honestly..." She shook her head, tears somehow managing to break through her diamond skin. "It's not nice." She turned away, hushing the baby girl when she called out for her father.

 

_The two of them had kissed for the first time, in the privacy of Scott’s bedroom at three in the morning._

_“Please,” Scott whispered, “Don’t do this to me if… Don’t just… Don’t kiss me just because you pity me Logan, I- I couldn’t take it…”_

_Logan smiled for the first time in years, chuckling to himself and wiping the moisture from behind the younger man’s glasses. “Scott, you know me. Do you think I would kiss another man out of pity?”_

_“I’d sure as hell hope not,” Scott whispered, with a shy, hopeful smile growing on his moonlit lips._

_He let out a breath of relief as Logan kissed him again._

_And again._

_And again._


End file.
